1
00:00:46,670 --> 00:00:49,110
Oh, look at this, Antonio.

2
00:00:49,830 --> 00:00:52,550
Your bulbs are upside down, you fool.

3
00:00:53,450 --> 00:00:59,410
Votre fleurs sont... What is the French
for upside down?

4
00:01:00,770 --> 00:01:05,250
Quel est le français for upside down?

5
00:01:05,750 --> 00:01:07,450
It's Portuguese, Diana.

6
00:01:08,050 --> 00:01:10,710
I do not speak Portuguese, Jane.

7
00:01:10,950 --> 00:01:12,390
Will you please not confuse the issue?

8
00:01:12,940 --> 00:01:16,500
Bad enough trying to communicate with
this sardine -sucking incompetence

9
00:01:16,500 --> 00:01:18,400
getting slapped around like a bat on
heat.

10
00:01:19,940 --> 00:01:20,940
Look!

11
00:01:21,640 --> 00:01:23,320
Upside down, oh!

12
00:01:23,860 --> 00:01:26,060
What are you trying to do, make them pop
up in Sydney?

13
00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:30,160
Go on.

14
00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:34,140
Oh, God, how did Vasco de Gama ever make
it home?

15
00:01:34,860 --> 00:01:38,340
Mr Baines did ask you not to throw
things at the staff.

16
00:01:39,210 --> 00:01:44,090
It's very bad for morale if the people
they're trying to care for keep

17
00:01:44,090 --> 00:01:45,090
them.

18
00:01:46,350 --> 00:01:49,270
What do you want, Jane?

19
00:01:49,470 --> 00:01:50,470
Two things.

20
00:01:51,250 --> 00:01:53,710
There's a new resident joining us.

21
00:01:54,050 --> 00:01:57,010
Oh, another condemned soul coming across
the sticks.

22
00:01:57,470 --> 00:01:59,970
Her name's Daisy Williams, and she's
very sweet.

23
00:02:00,310 --> 00:02:01,310
So knock that out of her.

24
00:02:01,610 --> 00:02:04,530
Harvey asked if you'd like to show her
round.

25
00:02:04,950 --> 00:02:06,370
Me? Why?

26
00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:10,380
He thinks it'd be nicer to have an
actual resident helping people get

27
00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:13,160
acquainted. Sounds like a halfway decent
idea.

28
00:02:13,680 --> 00:02:17,340
How on earth did the cretin Baines come
up with that? I thought he was still

29
00:02:17,340 --> 00:02:18,740
struggling with his reading lessons.

30
00:02:19,160 --> 00:02:21,760
Well, I might have sowed the seeds.

31
00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:23,240
I thought so.

32
00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:27,720
Smacked of your clotted cream, gooey
niceness oozing all over the carpet.

33
00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:29,000
Thanks, Diana.

34
00:02:30,060 --> 00:02:31,660
What was your second point?

35
00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:33,840
It's Tom.

36
00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:36,340
Oh, my God, what's he up to now?

37
00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:42,560
He won't get out of bed.

38
00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:51,460
No. Well, he's away, isn't he? Off on
his endless travels through his library

39
00:02:51,460 --> 00:02:52,460
B movies.

40
00:02:52,540 --> 00:02:54,680
He's been caught at the Antarctic all
week.

41
00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:56,640
Couldn't get near the bloody fridge.

42
00:02:58,940 --> 00:02:59,940
Tom?

43
00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:01,960
Tom, where are you?

44
00:03:05,019 --> 00:03:10,800
Tom, Jane Russell is outside in her
swimwear.

45
00:03:12,340 --> 00:03:14,700
Wondered if you would like a quick dip?

46
00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:16,980
I haven't seen Jane Russell.

47
00:03:18,180 --> 00:03:20,340
Just go away, Jane, and leave this to
me.

48
00:03:20,940 --> 00:03:22,600
Harvey's getting his son over.

49
00:03:22,980 --> 00:03:26,660
You hear that, Tom? They're bringing in
your idiot son and his revolting wife.

50
00:03:27,160 --> 00:03:30,700
Now, if you're still unconscious, Marion
will kill you for scrap.

51
00:03:31,900 --> 00:03:32,900
Tom?

52
00:03:40,270 --> 00:03:42,410
Ground control to Captain Tom.

53
00:03:44,150 --> 00:03:45,270
What's up, old stick?

54
00:03:47,630 --> 00:03:48,630
Oh, Diana.

55
00:03:48,930 --> 00:03:50,430
Tom, what is it?

56
00:03:51,210 --> 00:03:52,250
Oh, Diana.

57
00:03:52,690 --> 00:03:53,690
Yes?

58
00:03:54,670 --> 00:03:55,970
Oh, Diana.

59
00:03:56,490 --> 00:03:57,490
Oh, for heaven's sake.

60
00:03:57,850 --> 00:03:59,250
What is the matter with you?

61
00:03:59,550 --> 00:04:01,350
I feel a bit lost, Diana.

62
00:04:01,690 --> 00:04:03,210
Round here or at the South Pole?

63
00:04:03,530 --> 00:04:06,150
Here. Well, why aren't you getting out
of bed?

64
00:04:06,530 --> 00:04:07,730
That doesn't seem much point.

65
00:04:08,090 --> 00:04:09,090
No, of course there's no point.

66
00:04:09,420 --> 00:04:13,200
There is no point in the entire
universe. There is no point in the

67
00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:14,600
the vacuum from whence it came.

68
00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:17,019
No point or purpose in anything.

69
00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:19,920
No design, no nothing.

70
00:04:20,779 --> 00:04:23,160
Nothing and then more nothing.

71
00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:26,120
I only said I didn't want to get out of
bed.

72
00:04:27,080 --> 00:04:28,080
Why not?

73
00:04:28,720 --> 00:04:29,720
I'm lonely.

74
00:04:30,660 --> 00:04:32,200
I am on my own.

75
00:04:32,540 --> 00:04:33,540
Oh, no, you're not.

76
00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:39,900
You've just got a fit of the blues.

77
00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:41,920
Happens to us all at our age.

78
00:04:42,260 --> 00:04:44,860
You know what I do when I feel really
down?

79
00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:51,140
I get up, I get dressed, I go out, and I
do something really vile to someone.

80
00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:55,960
Mobile library will be due here soon.
Why don't we go and drive her up the

81
00:04:57,280 --> 00:04:58,520
I miss my wife.

82
00:04:58,940 --> 00:04:59,940
What, your real wife?

83
00:05:00,240 --> 00:05:03,780
Yes, dear Maggie. She slipped away from
me 15 years ago.

84
00:05:04,510 --> 00:05:07,950
Yesterday. Oh, I see. I mean, you could
be surrounded with people all day,

85
00:05:08,050 --> 00:05:12,310
chattering away, doing things, but there
comes a moment when you climb into bed,

86
00:05:12,490 --> 00:05:14,530
switch out the light, and you're on your
own.

87
00:05:15,550 --> 00:05:21,110
No one to share a thought with, no one
to share a hope with, no one to share

88
00:05:21,110 --> 00:05:23,070
darkness. All alone.

89
00:05:25,010 --> 00:05:26,010
Lonely.

90
00:05:27,790 --> 00:05:31,730
Well, I can see today is going to be a
bundle of laughs.

91
00:05:33,570 --> 00:05:34,610
He miffed his mummy.

92
00:05:35,030 --> 00:05:36,070
According to Diana.

93
00:05:36,490 --> 00:05:39,230
But she's been dead and buried for 15
years.

94
00:05:40,330 --> 00:05:41,790
Well, she was cremated, actually.

95
00:05:42,430 --> 00:05:44,170
She's in a tin in the potting shed.

96
00:05:45,390 --> 00:05:46,390
God almighty.

97
00:05:47,130 --> 00:05:48,190
She was a strange woman.

98
00:05:48,550 --> 00:05:49,650
I found a sort of impression.

99
00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:51,550
She didn't like me. Oh, surely not.

100
00:05:52,550 --> 00:05:55,830
Anyway, if we could get to the point, I
do have a migraine coming on. Try

101
00:05:55,830 --> 00:05:57,230
cutting your head off. That should fix
it.

102
00:05:58,390 --> 00:05:59,550
What do you want us to do?

103
00:06:00,030 --> 00:06:03,390
I thought maybe a change of scenery
might cheer him up a bit. I thought

104
00:06:03,390 --> 00:06:05,110
you could take him home with you for a
while.

105
00:06:05,390 --> 00:06:06,890
What? With us?

106
00:06:07,370 --> 00:06:08,370
To our house?

107
00:06:08,470 --> 00:06:09,470
Well, why not?

108
00:06:09,670 --> 00:06:11,990
I just had the carpet shampooed.

109
00:06:12,470 --> 00:06:13,470
What?

110
00:06:13,650 --> 00:06:14,650
He's old.

111
00:06:15,150 --> 00:06:19,070
He hasn't got full control of all his
bowels. He leaps.

112
00:06:19,390 --> 00:06:22,470
Jane, get me a machete. I have to do a
headache to me.

113
00:06:24,150 --> 00:06:25,350
Not now, Diana.

114
00:06:25,990 --> 00:06:28,030
Come on, dear. We'll have a chat with
him.

115
00:06:30,540 --> 00:06:34,380
I suppose it's monstrous genetic
throwbacks like her that make the human

116
00:06:34,380 --> 00:06:36,340
totally incapable of making any real
progress.

117
00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:38,040
Yeah, she's an interesting woman.

118
00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:40,700
Daisy Williams is arising.

119
00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:42,480
Ah, the new internee.

120
00:06:42,700 --> 00:06:46,480
Tell him to hold the dogs and let her
through the wire. I'm coming right down.

121
00:06:50,380 --> 00:06:52,180
What is going on?

122
00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:54,360
The new instruction scheme.

123
00:06:54,740 --> 00:06:56,020
Diana's going to show around.

124
00:06:56,700 --> 00:06:59,180
Diana? We agreed.

125
00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:02,290
Her current residence... Yes, but a
decent resident.

126
00:07:02,850 --> 00:07:04,790
Not Diana Foulmouth Trent.

127
00:07:05,430 --> 00:07:07,990
God, Jane, I thought I was stupid until
I met you.

128
00:07:08,310 --> 00:07:09,430
Oh, you are, Harvey.

129
00:07:10,030 --> 00:07:11,470
I mean it, not Harvey.

130
00:07:11,690 --> 00:07:14,110
Of course you're not. I'm the one that's
stupid.

131
00:07:14,510 --> 00:07:17,930
You're not nearly as stupid as I am.
Jane, you're touching me.

132
00:07:18,150 --> 00:07:19,150
Sorry.

133
00:07:24,910 --> 00:07:25,910
Well,

134
00:07:26,190 --> 00:07:28,470
you don't mind if I smoke, do you? No,
of course not.

135
00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:30,780
I've still got full power of one lung.

136
00:07:32,020 --> 00:07:34,800
Besides, I've always had a yen for
emphysema.

137
00:07:35,060 --> 00:07:36,920
It's what took my dear Maggie off.

138
00:07:37,380 --> 00:07:41,480
I'd feel an extra closeness if we both
died of the same disease.

139
00:07:42,980 --> 00:07:46,080
We both miss Mummy too, Dad, don't we,
Marion?

140
00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:47,500
Oh, yes, yes.

141
00:07:48,420 --> 00:07:49,420
Lovely lady.

142
00:07:49,540 --> 00:07:51,140
But she has had a good run.

143
00:07:51,460 --> 00:07:55,020
And we can't all sit in bed forever just
because someone dies.

144
00:07:55,520 --> 00:07:57,020
You should find yourself a hobby.

145
00:07:57,710 --> 00:08:01,310
When my pet hamster died, I took up
Japanese paper folding.

146
00:08:02,450 --> 00:08:03,450
Origami.

147
00:08:03,850 --> 00:08:05,010
Well, that's what it was called.

148
00:08:05,890 --> 00:08:07,850
The paper folding, not my hamster.

149
00:08:08,570 --> 00:08:10,610
God. Let me handle this, Marion.

150
00:08:11,230 --> 00:08:13,850
Why don't you go and plump up the
cushions?

151
00:08:14,170 --> 00:08:15,910
Oh, right -o.

152
00:08:18,070 --> 00:08:22,090
Oh, Geoffrey, how could you let a thing
like that into your life?

153
00:08:22,870 --> 00:08:25,430
She has a good point, I suppose.

154
00:08:26,060 --> 00:08:31,400
I remember when your mother first met
her, she came to me and she said, Tom,

155
00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:33,260
that was my name then.

156
00:08:33,559 --> 00:08:34,580
It still is, Dad.

157
00:08:35,340 --> 00:08:39,500
Tom, she said, Geoffrey is going to
marry the Wicked Witch of the West.

158
00:08:40,419 --> 00:08:41,580
I'm sure she didn't, Dad.

159
00:08:42,080 --> 00:08:43,419
No, probably not.

160
00:08:44,039 --> 00:08:46,020
She was far too kind to be really
honest.

161
00:08:47,020 --> 00:08:50,800
You're going to have to come to terms
with it, Dad, being on your own. Unless,

162
00:08:50,860 --> 00:08:52,000
of course, you weren't on your own.

163
00:08:52,440 --> 00:08:54,080
Not now, dear. No, no, no.

164
00:08:54,730 --> 00:08:55,730
What does she mean?

165
00:08:55,890 --> 00:08:58,910
Well, you could always find someone
else.

166
00:08:59,310 --> 00:09:00,790
Oh, I could never do that.

167
00:09:01,030 --> 00:09:02,030
Oh, why not?

168
00:09:02,170 --> 00:09:04,190
Oh, you don't have to get married these
days.

169
00:09:04,570 --> 00:09:07,550
I'm sure the countryside is littered
with old ducks on their own.

170
00:09:07,910 --> 00:09:08,910
Who knows?

171
00:09:08,950 --> 00:09:10,890
One of them might have a tidy little
thumb.

172
00:09:11,210 --> 00:09:13,750
I mean, living here on your own.

173
00:09:14,210 --> 00:09:16,710
Not cheap, you know. I do pay for
myself.

174
00:09:17,010 --> 00:09:21,170
Oh, yes, of course you do. But the money
could be used elsewhere.

175
00:09:21,990 --> 00:09:23,810
You do have a family, after all.

176
00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:27,340
Have you ever thought of cheese wire
round the neck?

177
00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:29,440
What did he say?

178
00:09:29,680 --> 00:09:31,580
He's talking about grotting, you dear.

179
00:09:33,540 --> 00:09:34,540
Nice.

180
00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:43,460
The building has at times been a
monastery and a

181
00:09:43,460 --> 00:09:44,460
lunatic asylum.

182
00:09:44,580 --> 00:09:49,580
I've now managed to combine the two in
this aberration known as the Bayview

183
00:09:49,580 --> 00:09:51,600
Retirement Village for the almost dead.

184
00:09:54,120 --> 00:09:58,100
was designed by an architect who was
obviously under heavy medication at the

185
00:09:58,100 --> 00:09:59,100
time.

186
00:10:00,040 --> 00:10:04,240
Much like that insipid, clot -headed
shyster who runs the place now.

187
00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:08,020
Right, Harvey Baines.

188
00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:11,860
Believed to be a member of the human
race, the decision is under appeal.

189
00:10:12,460 --> 00:10:17,400
He's aided and abetted by that harmless
animated flannel, Jane Edwards.

190
00:10:17,900 --> 00:10:20,900
We all enjoy making her life a total
misery.

191
00:10:24,910 --> 00:10:26,210
Aren't you being rather frightful?

192
00:10:28,410 --> 00:10:29,530
I beg your pardon?

193
00:10:29,750 --> 00:10:33,890
You do seem to me to be the most
extraordinarily offensive person.

194
00:10:34,310 --> 00:10:35,310
Oh.

195
00:10:35,730 --> 00:10:36,850
Thank you very much.

196
00:10:37,970 --> 00:10:40,610
Let's do the inside of the stalag now,
shall we?

197
00:10:46,370 --> 00:10:52,570
And this is the communal trough.

198
00:10:54,750 --> 00:10:57,670
foodstuffs considered unfit for human
consumption end up here.

199
00:10:58,510 --> 00:10:59,510
See this yogurt?

200
00:10:59,930 --> 00:11:02,010
Sell -by date is in Roman numeral, we
will.

201
00:11:03,650 --> 00:11:04,650
Ah!

202
00:11:05,250 --> 00:11:06,250
Say hello...

203
00:11:06,890 --> 00:11:10,370
If it's not too much of a strain on your
vocabulary. We have met. It's Rose,

204
00:11:10,510 --> 00:11:12,250
isn't it? Daisy, actually.

205
00:11:12,550 --> 00:11:15,830
Such a lovely name. My mother was called
Rose. And this is Jenny, who runs the

206
00:11:15,830 --> 00:11:17,270
dining room and does the lobotomy.

207
00:11:17,570 --> 00:11:19,270
Take no notice of her, Mrs. Williams.

208
00:11:19,570 --> 00:11:21,450
Diana is a very warped person.

209
00:11:21,690 --> 00:11:24,490
I think she just enjoys trying to shock
people.

210
00:11:24,730 --> 00:11:28,090
It's a common trait amongst the ill
-mannered and ill -bred.

211
00:11:28,310 --> 00:11:29,269
Ill -bred?

212
00:11:29,270 --> 00:11:31,590
Yes. Which is your table?

213
00:11:31,990 --> 00:11:32,990
Well, it's this one.

214
00:11:33,350 --> 00:11:36,150
Right. Well, then, I think I will sit
over there.

215
00:11:36,350 --> 00:11:41,050
Jenny. Good day to you, Miss Trent. It
is myth, isn't it? I wouldn't imagine

216
00:11:41,050 --> 00:11:44,710
that anyone of your sour disposition
could ever have been married.

217
00:11:47,830 --> 00:11:49,230
Well, well, well.

218
00:11:49,610 --> 00:11:51,550
Looks like you met your match there, eh,
Diana?

219
00:11:51,770 --> 00:11:53,290
Just go away or I'll kill you, Harvey.

220
00:11:54,110 --> 00:11:55,250
Oh, how charming.

221
00:11:55,470 --> 00:11:59,670
Death threats in the dining room. Go
away, right -o. Why not? I'm not

222
00:12:01,250 --> 00:12:02,310
What -o, Diana?

223
00:12:02,810 --> 00:12:03,810
Have you got up?

224
00:12:04,050 --> 00:12:08,230
Yes. I've found a new solution to my
problems. We must have a chat. Will you

225
00:12:08,230 --> 00:12:09,350
join me for yum -yums?

226
00:12:10,830 --> 00:12:13,270
No, thank you. I'm not hungry.

227
00:12:14,610 --> 00:12:15,770
What's going on up here?

228
00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:19,070
What, oh?

229
00:12:19,430 --> 00:12:22,030
My name is Scott, Captain Scott.

230
00:12:22,430 --> 00:12:24,210
And these are my two faithful huskies.

231
00:12:25,550 --> 00:12:27,270
I'm very pleased to meet you.

232
00:12:29,150 --> 00:12:32,090
Why don't you park your sleigh and come
and join us?

233
00:12:36,599 --> 00:12:37,599
Ill -bred.

234
00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:40,900
Ill -mannered, fine, but ill -bred.

235
00:12:41,280 --> 00:12:42,580
Just bloody rude.

236
00:12:43,900 --> 00:12:44,940
Now look what she's done.

237
00:12:45,740 --> 00:12:48,360
That's one china doll that means shoving
off the mantelpiece.

238
00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:50,200
Hello, old thing.

239
00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:53,500
You missed a great lunch. It's Thursday.
I missed a dead rabbit.

240
00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:54,599
No, no.

241
00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:56,400
I mean that new girl, Daisy Williams.

242
00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:57,459
What a sport.

243
00:12:57,460 --> 00:13:00,700
She had us in fits with her parodies of
Kipling.

244
00:13:00,940 --> 00:13:03,500
Oh, jolly good. Bang another hockey
stick on the fire.

245
00:13:03,980 --> 00:13:06,480
Got some grand stories. And she knew
Shaw.

246
00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:08,360
Sandy? No, George Bernard.

247
00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:09,600
Oh.

248
00:13:09,700 --> 00:13:12,720
So she is as old as she looks. But as
young as she feels.

249
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:15,260
Oh, my God. Show them a petticoat.

250
00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:18,140
Her husband was an army waller.

251
00:13:18,420 --> 00:13:19,420
Died last year.

252
00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:21,320
Has she never heard of sutty?

253
00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:25,700
What? It's a charming old Indian custom
whereby the wife throws herself on the

254
00:13:25,700 --> 00:13:26,700
dead hubby's bonfire.

255
00:13:29,160 --> 00:13:31,980
Oh, you're not being a little negative
about her, are you, Diana?

256
00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:33,200
Negative? Me?

257
00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:34,960
No. Of course not. I'm absolutely
delighted.

258
00:13:35,420 --> 00:13:39,160
I've always wanted a real -life Major
Barbara banging about the place, telling

259
00:13:39,160 --> 00:13:40,580
me what common muck I am.

260
00:13:41,560 --> 00:13:42,940
Was there something you wanted, Tom?

261
00:13:43,160 --> 00:13:44,360
Yes, actually, there was.

262
00:13:44,820 --> 00:13:45,820
Well, speak up, man.

263
00:13:46,640 --> 00:13:50,180
I was wondering if you would like to
shack up with me.

264
00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:02,800
I'm sorry, Tom, I don't think I heard
you correctly. I thought you asked me

265
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:05,980
to... shat up with you. Do correct me if
I'm wrong.

266
00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:07,280
No, that's it.

267
00:14:07,620 --> 00:14:12,840
Well, if you would like to place your
head upon the floor, I will endeavour to

268
00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:14,600
kick it clean off your shoulders.

269
00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:21,120
Oh, no, Diana. I don't mean the Humpty
Dumpty Inky Pinky Harley Voo Hoops Golly

270
00:14:21,120 --> 00:14:23,640
Hoops for Tennis Bits. Do you mean sex?

271
00:14:23,940 --> 00:14:24,940
No, Diana.

272
00:14:25,460 --> 00:14:28,880
There's no point in having a language
which encourages the use of...

273
00:14:29,290 --> 00:14:33,690
Complex euphemisms. If you come charging
along using words like what you've just

274
00:14:33,690 --> 00:14:39,270
said. What do you want, Tom? I just
meant the living together bit.

275
00:14:39,470 --> 00:14:40,990
Living together? What, you and me?

276
00:14:41,230 --> 00:14:42,430
Yes, we almost do already.

277
00:14:42,750 --> 00:14:46,210
Remember when I came here first, there
was a little floral barrier between us?

278
00:14:46,270 --> 00:14:47,710
Well, that's gone now.

279
00:14:48,090 --> 00:14:53,810
I mean, we would only need one kitchen,
one bathroom, one bedroom. One bedroom?

280
00:14:54,110 --> 00:14:55,110
Two beds.

281
00:14:55,310 --> 00:14:57,530
Then I wouldn't feel lonely.

282
00:14:58,170 --> 00:14:59,410
And you'd have a man about the place.

283
00:14:59,610 --> 00:15:03,830
A man about the place. Yes, but mainly
think of the money we'd save.

284
00:15:04,150 --> 00:15:05,230
Ah, the money.

285
00:15:05,570 --> 00:15:06,790
Yes, so what do you say?

286
00:15:08,530 --> 00:15:14,370
Would you care to give me a little while
to think about your wonderful offer?

287
00:15:14,890 --> 00:15:15,890
I do.

288
00:15:29,390 --> 00:15:30,390
Antonio?

289
00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:11,159
on the shelf.

290
00:16:11,160 --> 00:16:15,600
They get bitter and twisted and turn on
everyone and then on themselves and

291
00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:16,680
finally go mad.

292
00:16:17,700 --> 00:16:19,380
Are you married, Miss Edwards?

293
00:16:19,880 --> 00:16:21,040
No, not.

294
00:16:22,020 --> 00:16:23,020
Excuse me.

295
00:16:23,820 --> 00:16:24,820
Hello, Jane.

296
00:16:26,140 --> 00:16:27,140
Goodbye, Jane.

297
00:16:28,300 --> 00:16:29,360
Strange girl.

298
00:16:30,040 --> 00:16:31,060
What's the matter with her?

299
00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:37,520
Probably something I said. It usually
is. I have a tendency to speak my mind.

300
00:16:38,970 --> 00:16:39,970
Say what I think.

301
00:16:40,930 --> 00:16:42,430
Why don't you stand up straight?

302
00:16:43,690 --> 00:16:46,270
What's the matter with this place? L .M
.F.

303
00:16:46,550 --> 00:16:48,030
Lack of moral fibre.

304
00:16:48,950 --> 00:16:52,990
My late husband, Charlie, would soon
have whipped this lot into shape.

305
00:16:53,630 --> 00:16:54,670
Your late husband?

306
00:16:56,190 --> 00:16:58,610
Tell me, do you miss him?

307
00:16:59,250 --> 00:17:00,250
Is it that obvious?

308
00:17:01,350 --> 00:17:02,810
No, not at all.

309
00:17:05,710 --> 00:17:08,349
Frankly, I fail to see the point in
outliving him.

310
00:17:09,579 --> 00:17:10,579
We were a unit.

311
00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:13,380
The colonel and his second -in -command.

312
00:17:14,140 --> 00:17:17,280
We did everything the right way at the
right time.

313
00:17:18,040 --> 00:17:20,920
We worked for the country. This country.

314
00:17:21,140 --> 00:17:28,060
All our lives. We were owed... We were
owed our time together

315
00:17:28,060 --> 00:17:29,060
at the end.

316
00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:31,540
But we didn't get it, did we?

317
00:17:33,580 --> 00:17:34,580
Lonely.

318
00:17:35,620 --> 00:17:36,620
Yes.

319
00:17:37,300 --> 00:17:38,300
Very lonely.

320
00:17:40,489 --> 00:17:42,690
Still, not much one can do about that,
is there?

321
00:17:43,330 --> 00:17:47,150
I mean, it's not as though one were
foreign and could weep and wail all over

322
00:17:47,150 --> 00:17:48,690
place. Oh, no, right.

323
00:17:49,810 --> 00:17:52,350
Stiff upper thingies.

324
00:17:54,530 --> 00:17:58,610
If you don't hold your head up properly,
you'll get a stoop when you get older.

325
00:18:00,210 --> 00:18:01,210
Sorry.

326
00:18:02,770 --> 00:18:04,810
So, have you thought about my offer,
Diana?

327
00:18:05,050 --> 00:18:06,470
Are we to become live -in...

328
00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:28,010
That's definitely my room.

329
00:18:29,430 --> 00:18:30,670
My conservatory.

330
00:18:32,270 --> 00:18:33,670
But not my wall.

331
00:18:37,770 --> 00:18:38,770
Excuse me, wall.

332
00:18:39,850 --> 00:18:40,850
How do you do?

333
00:18:41,190 --> 00:18:43,550
My name is Scott, but you can call me
Tom.

334
00:18:44,050 --> 00:18:50,810
Now, look, this is nothing personal,
wall. It's just that I think you are at

335
00:18:50,810 --> 00:18:51,810
wrong address.

336
00:18:52,650 --> 00:18:53,650
What's that?

337
00:18:54,270 --> 00:18:55,690
Diana put you there.

338
00:18:55,930 --> 00:18:57,690
I thought she might have done.

339
00:18:58,830 --> 00:18:59,950
Any idea why?

340
00:19:01,770 --> 00:19:02,770
No?

341
00:19:03,610 --> 00:19:05,170
Maybe we'd better ask her.

342
00:19:08,690 --> 00:19:09,690
Hello?

343
00:19:24,110 --> 00:19:25,110
do you want?

344
00:19:25,430 --> 00:19:26,870
Nothing. Nothing.

345
00:19:27,090 --> 00:19:28,090
Good.

346
00:19:31,510 --> 00:19:33,330
What do you want?

347
00:19:33,930 --> 00:19:35,390
Correct me if I'm wrong, Diana.

348
00:19:36,110 --> 00:19:41,970
I know I do sometimes stray from the
rigid paths of perceived reality. I know

349
00:19:41,970 --> 00:19:46,670
that I also have occasional hiccups in
my logical progressions. I know that.

350
00:19:46,690 --> 00:19:47,690
What do you want?

351
00:19:49,610 --> 00:19:51,050
Is this a wall here?

352
00:19:51,370 --> 00:19:52,370
It is.

353
00:19:52,470 --> 00:19:53,670
In actual...

354
00:19:53,930 --> 00:19:54,930
Real life?

355
00:19:54,950 --> 00:19:55,950
Yes.

356
00:19:56,430 --> 00:19:57,430
I see.

357
00:19:57,710 --> 00:20:00,250
And it is erected at your instigation?

358
00:20:00,510 --> 00:20:05,270
Yes. You are desirous to emulate the
Emperor Hadrian?

359
00:20:05,510 --> 00:20:08,430
Only when there are barbarians next
door.

360
00:20:10,690 --> 00:20:11,830
What have I done?

361
00:20:12,370 --> 00:20:14,250
You've no idea, have you?

362
00:20:14,610 --> 00:20:15,650
It is something I said.

363
00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:39,920
break her fingers.

364
00:20:40,780 --> 00:20:42,860
Diana, why don't you have a sing -song?

365
00:20:43,180 --> 00:20:46,700
I have never heard a sing -song in my
life, Jane.

366
00:20:47,100 --> 00:20:50,340
I'm quite capable of reading without the
assistance of a bandit.

367
00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:23,560
That is a wooden partition.

368
00:21:24,280 --> 00:21:26,860
Brilliant, Harvey. We all thought it was
a bit of fish.

369
00:21:27,740 --> 00:21:30,820
I mean it is an unauthorised wooden
partition.

370
00:21:31,120 --> 00:21:35,140
That's hardly the point. It is very much
the point. It contravenes all building

371
00:21:35,140 --> 00:21:36,140
and fire regulation.

372
00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:39,700
I mean, what would he do if a fire broke
out here? You tell me that, Jane.

373
00:21:40,060 --> 00:21:42,520
I expect he'd step out of the window
here.

374
00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:45,000
Nobody asked you, Jane.

375
00:21:46,100 --> 00:21:47,100
It'll have to go.

376
00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:50,160
The problem, Harvey, is not the wall
itself.

377
00:21:50,700 --> 00:21:53,780
But the reason it is there, why did
Diana put it up at all?

378
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:57,680
To upset me, of course. Everything that
woman ever does is done to upset me. Oh,

379
00:21:57,680 --> 00:21:58,740
she told me that was too easy.

380
00:21:59,220 --> 00:22:00,220
She's bored with that.

381
00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:03,540
This is because of me, I think. Well,
why don't you ask her?

382
00:22:03,740 --> 00:22:07,060
She won't tell me. Well, what do you
expect me to do about it?

383
00:22:07,260 --> 00:22:11,220
My job is to run this place efficiently
and economically without illegal

384
00:22:11,220 --> 00:22:13,420
partitions popping up all over the
place.

385
00:22:14,940 --> 00:22:17,960
Personal problems are not my area at
all. Well, whose area are they?

386
00:22:19,630 --> 00:22:21,070
Yes, now sort it out, Jane.

387
00:22:21,410 --> 00:22:24,830
Diana's gone too far this time. Now you
tell that vicious old stoat I want this

388
00:22:24,830 --> 00:22:25,970
wall removed, okay?

389
00:22:27,750 --> 00:22:28,750
Hello, Diana.

390
00:22:33,210 --> 00:22:34,210
Yoo -hoo!

391
00:22:36,970 --> 00:22:38,190
I said, you...

392
00:22:50,830 --> 00:22:53,090
You don't want to swear at me?

393
00:22:53,490 --> 00:22:54,490
No.

394
00:22:57,170 --> 00:22:59,050
Nice wall you've got there.

395
00:23:00,110 --> 00:23:01,970
Sit. Sorry? Sit down.

396
00:23:02,350 --> 00:23:03,350
Right.

397
00:23:03,570 --> 00:23:06,590
You want to know why I have built a wall
between myself and Tom?

398
00:23:06,910 --> 00:23:10,690
Well, you know... Yes.

399
00:23:12,170 --> 00:23:15,170
Awesomely improbable as it may seem,
Jane, you and I have something in

400
00:23:15,350 --> 00:23:16,109
We do?

401
00:23:16,110 --> 00:23:17,109
What is it?

402
00:23:17,110 --> 00:23:18,110
We're women.

403
00:23:18,150 --> 00:23:19,630
We are single women.

404
00:23:20,360 --> 00:23:22,040
And likely to remain that way.

405
00:23:22,340 --> 00:23:23,340
Oh, Diana.

406
00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:27,020
The only difference is that whereas I am
happily resigned to my connubial

407
00:23:27,020 --> 00:23:31,760
solitude, you cling desperately to the
hope that that idiot Baines will one day

408
00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:34,820
park his Gucci slippers beneath your
sorry cot.

409
00:23:35,380 --> 00:23:37,280
That's very cruel, Diana.

410
00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:40,580
My relationship with Harvey is purely
business.

411
00:23:41,020 --> 00:23:46,540
I just happen to admire him from afar
for the fine human being that he is.

412
00:23:47,380 --> 00:23:48,540
Good God.

413
00:23:50,760 --> 00:23:54,720
Well, anyway, Jane, even though we are
single, it does not mean that we like

414
00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:55,880
being taken for granted.

415
00:23:56,320 --> 00:23:59,680
It does not mean that we don't like to
be courted.

416
00:24:00,140 --> 00:24:03,520
It does not mean that we like to be
treated like some money -saving device.

417
00:24:03,900 --> 00:24:07,780
It does not mean that we are open to
callous invitations to shack up with

418
00:24:07,780 --> 00:24:08,780
someone.

419
00:24:08,920 --> 00:24:11,180
Nobody's ever asked me to shack up with
them.

420
00:24:12,540 --> 00:24:13,660
No, well, they have me.

421
00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:15,880
Oh.

422
00:24:16,320 --> 00:24:18,200
You mean... Oh.

423
00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:20,080
I don't blame Tom.

424
00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:23,540
He's daft. He's away with the fairies
most of the time.

425
00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:27,120
Runs on a different gauge track to the
rest of us.

426
00:24:28,220 --> 00:24:33,420
But until now, he's always been
possessed of a certain goodness of

427
00:24:33,900 --> 00:24:38,460
I've done my best to make him see how
awful life is, but thank God he's always

428
00:24:38,460 --> 00:24:42,280
come smiling through, through innocent.

429
00:24:43,700 --> 00:24:49,240
This time he has hit the buffers and I
was standing right in front of them.

430
00:24:51,500 --> 00:24:52,880
And I'm not amused.

431
00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:55,060
But will you forgive them?

432
00:24:56,160 --> 00:24:57,160
Yes, of course I will.

433
00:24:57,760 --> 00:24:58,760
Eventually.

434
00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:00,660
Maybe I could help.

435
00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:04,400
Yes, maybe you could.

436
00:25:06,380 --> 00:25:08,380
Diana, I'm getting a bit fed up with it.

437
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:10,900
And you've put a boat on your side,
haven't you?

438
00:25:11,860 --> 00:25:12,980
Oh, well, I don't care.

439
00:25:13,260 --> 00:25:16,100
You want to be Howard Hughes, you be
Howard Hughes.

440
00:25:16,300 --> 00:25:18,720
And I hope your fingernails grow so long
they stab you.

441
00:25:19,990 --> 00:25:21,230
Oh, I don't know.

442
00:25:21,810 --> 00:25:22,810
I don't know.

443
00:25:24,770 --> 00:25:25,770
Yoo -hoo!

444
00:25:25,910 --> 00:25:28,370
Ah, Jane, have you spoken with her? Yes.

445
00:25:28,770 --> 00:25:29,629
What did you say?

446
00:25:29,630 --> 00:25:32,350
She doesn't think Harvey and I have a
future together.

447
00:25:32,850 --> 00:25:34,630
But what does she have to say about me?

448
00:25:34,890 --> 00:25:36,790
I mean, I think she's wrong about
Harvey.

449
00:25:37,070 --> 00:25:38,670
He's really a lovely man.

450
00:25:38,950 --> 00:25:40,730
He just hides it sometimes.

451
00:25:41,370 --> 00:25:45,070
Jane! Oh, sorry, yes, what did she say?

452
00:25:45,510 --> 00:25:49,360
Um... She thinks you're daft. What? And
away with the fairies.

453
00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:53,320
And she doesn't want to be taken for
granted and she doesn't want to shack up

454
00:25:53,320 --> 00:25:53,979
with you.

455
00:25:53,980 --> 00:25:56,740
And she was rude about Harvey's
slippers.

456
00:25:57,620 --> 00:26:00,140
Well, that's charming, I must say.

457
00:26:00,500 --> 00:26:03,980
I make her a wonderful proposition and
she throws it back in my face. Well,

458
00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:05,340
that's it. I'm never going to talk to
her again.

459
00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:06,840
Oh, no, you mustn't do that.

460
00:26:07,420 --> 00:26:09,620
I'm here to patch things up.

461
00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:13,120
Oh, dear, I don't seem to be getting it
right.

462
00:26:13,480 --> 00:26:14,480
Hello? Hello?

463
00:26:15,650 --> 00:26:20,030
Daisy. Ah, Daisy. How nice to see you.
You know Jane, don't you? Yes, of

464
00:26:20,090 --> 00:26:21,790
Hello, dear. Nice to see you. Do run
along.

465
00:26:23,510 --> 00:26:25,550
That's all right, dear. About your
duties.

466
00:26:26,350 --> 00:26:27,490
Yes, right. Bye.

467
00:26:28,470 --> 00:26:33,750
Ah, David. What can I do for you? You
can put on your hat, you can take my

468
00:26:33,850 --> 00:26:35,450
and we shall go for a stroll.

469
00:26:35,790 --> 00:26:36,790
Oh.

470
00:26:37,430 --> 00:26:38,430
Oh.

471
00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:40,440
Yes, why not?

472
00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:42,080
Jolly good idea. Just what a chap needs.

473
00:26:42,320 --> 00:26:44,800
It gets awfully stuffy and confused in
here.

474
00:26:45,640 --> 00:26:47,920
Off we go. We shall go down to the lake.

475
00:26:51,340 --> 00:26:55,580
I've got some plans for shaping things
up around here.

476
00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:56,880
Jolly good.

477
00:26:57,000 --> 00:27:00,260
Tell me, do you have any organisational
abilities?

478
00:27:01,460 --> 00:27:04,500
I have organised three Arctic
expeditions.

479
00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:08,000
We'll make a grand... team.